The average participant in a divorce spends up to $15,000 in the months leading up to, during and after the divorce. New bank and credit cards are opened, houses are sold or refinanced and in the process a new home might need to be furnished with new or used items. But Remember, divorce should always be the last resort.
Divorcees often fall into two categories: those who have been preparing for the possibility of divorce, and those that are totally surprised upon receiving the news that their spouse wants to separate or get a divorce.
By preparing for a divorce before it actually happens, you can reduce much of the stress and conflict that many people face when they rush the divorce process. Planning ahead allows you to make sound decisions and start preparing for your life after divorce, as well as helping you to avoid some of the post-divorce pitfalls.
Below are some things to think about as you begin preparing for a divorce. The following article sheds some insight financially preparing for divorce and gives some good tips on getting your budget in line.
Adopting the right attitude can go a long ways towards learning how to survive a divorce. By taking charge of the divorce process, as well as your emotions, you can regain some control over your situation.
The Smart Way To Divorce
Surviving Divorce: Financially Where to Start
You should discuss with your spouse which approach you want to take first: mediation, mediation together with a lawyer for each, or just get separate lawyers. This will cost you less if you try either of the first two options before going to court.
1. Prepare an After Divorce Budget.
The first thing you should do if you are considering a divorce is to make a budget of your expenses and income. This is the most important step you should take because it will help you understand how much money you have at your disposal and how much you spend.
This is where you determine what you will need to live on once you are divorced. You are aware of what it takes to run the household now. What you need to know is what your costs of living will be after the divorce. Keep in mind that your income might drop drastically after the divorce. It’s best you be prepared by building a budget now instead of being hit over the head with bills you can’t pay.
Look at your current family expenses first, and then look ahead to the future and think about what will change.
2. List Your Expenses.- ?List all of your fixed expenses: Utilities, Phone, cost of rent or mortgage, groceries, etc
- List other expenses: Entertainment, eating out, shopping, and clothes - basically the items that aren't necessarily required but are normal expenditures during the month.
3. List Your Income.
You need a clear picture of where you and your spouse stand financially. One of the primary goals of the divorce process is the make an equitable distribution of marital assets and debts. In order to get your fair share it is imperative that you know what is owned and what is owed.
List your sources of income. Income from employment, from the other spouse as an initial arrangement for supporting the kids, or any other sources of incoming income.
The purpose of doing this is so that you can compare your income with your expenses. Is there a deficit of income or surplus?
If your income is at a surplus, you are ok but if your income is at a deficit, we have suggested some measures that you can take so that you will have more income.
4. Cut Back on some of your Expenses.
If you discover the need to cut back on your spending take a look at some of the expenses that you can do without, at least during the early stages of your divorce – The eating out at restaurants, the shopping, basically the "fun" money. If they aren’t necessary, no need to spend on it. We aren’t saying to totally stop spending on yourself or on entertainment but to be a little more rational with your money. If you eat out every weekend try to cut it down to once every two weeks or once a month.
5. Increase Your Income if Necessary.
After all of the reductions mentioned above have been done and your income is still at a deficit, you might then need to find a way to increase your income. ?Is a higher-paying career an option? Do you work part-time when full-time employment is possible? Sometimes going back to work if you have stayed at home or getting a second job, or even getting a temporary roommate might have to be considered. ?
While the budget is just the very basic step to starting to survive divorce financially, it will answer a lot of questions. There will certainly be other financial issues ahead: determining child support if there are children involved and perhaps marital support, perhaps even big items like selling homes or dividing assets, valuing pensions, and splitting retirement plans. But by having a plan to deal with your financial life, it becomes easier to focus on other items that have yet to be done.
The main goal is to stop overspending.
6. Establish credit in your name.
To re-estbalish credit in your name after a divorce, you need to open a bank account in your own name, credit cards and a regular source of income and pay all bills on time.
Do the following:
- Get a job, even a part time job if you aren’t employed.
- Get a credit cards and bank account in your own name. If you are turned down ask one of your friends or family to co-sign for you.
- If you have any debt and they are more you can handle, consolidate them. Look in your local phone book for a consumer credit counseling agency that can help you do this. Talk to an attorney. Often creditors will agree to accept smaller payments when an attorney indicates you may have to file bankruptcy. Discuss bankruptcy with your attorney if you cannot handle your debts.
- Get your own place whether you will be renting or buying.
- Cancel all joint credit cards from your spouse. Contact and alert creditors to the fact that you are going through a divorce. If there is a change of address, make sure they know it so that you will continue to receive bills from all joint accounts.
You will have to estimate some expenses but it is important so that you can have some idea of what you will need to survive in your new life. It is also important because it will influence how you negeotiate your divorce settlement. You need to know what you will need financially in order to evaluate your settlement options or what you may ask for should your case go to court.
7. Obtain a good attorney.
Interview at least three divorce attorneys before you decide on one. Go with an attorney who has at least 5 years experience practicing family and divorce law.? As stated earlier you can lean towards a collaborative approach during divorce. It is easier and less expensive if you and your spouse are able to settle all issues without litigation. If that can’t be done make sure you have an attorney who is capable and willing to litigate your case before a judge. You are basically looking for two things…an attorney who knows the value of settling quickly but is also willing to fight for you should the need arise.
These tips are not a guarantee that everything will be smooth sailing in your divorce. But staying aware and involved in the process will lessen the frustration and hurt that could cloud your judgment to help you resolve the situation.
8. Keep your emotions in check.
This is very important because if you were informed about your divorce by a surprise, you might get upset and your emotions might get the best of you which could lead to you making irrational decisions in your divorce. It is important to be calm, rational, and decisive as this will lead to smart and rational decision making.
